When Your Cat Seems To Be Training You For Children

Our cat Fiona has always taken it upon herself to train Kyle for having babies by waking him up at odd hours, making strange noises, and demanding food at ungodly times. Recently, she has really upped her game. Today, Kyle was gone for work but she must have pestered me for food five times after I returned home from work.

I wrapped a present for a baby shower for the next day, set it aside, only to return several minutes later to find Fiona had made a small tear in the pretty wrapping paper, and was sitting her ass on the present. That was not enough mischief for the night, though.

I turned on the hand steamer, set it down on the kitchen counter to heat up, and turned my back for not 30 seconds to grab a snack. When I glanced back to check on the hand steamer, I practically had a heart attack when I saw Fiona had her whole face pressed into the holes where the steam is supposed to come out. I yelled at her and she quickly retreated, exactly 3 seconds before hot steam came streaming out. I thought she was going to burn her eyeballs off! I think this is the first time I encountered a cat safety hazard while engaging in domesticity. I thought she needed to blow off some energy, so I played with her, but when it came time to use my computer, this was happening:

When I finally got to use my computer, she crawled into my lap like the spoiled thing she is and pretended she was totally innocent.

ADDENDUM: The next morning, she attempted to drag me out of bed at 6:50 am and pestered me to no end. She even bit my face at one point. I am a firm believer in not giving in to such antics, but although I ignored her bad behavior, I was not able to go back to sleep. I still refused to get out of bed until 8:00 and then went downstairs to have coffee before yoga class. To top it off, as I was headed out the door, Ophelia circled my legs, blocked me on the stairs, and clung to my leggings as I was trying to leave. I texted Kyle and let him know the cats are extra neurotic when he’s gone.

Furniture Project Part 1

We recently came into some used furniture, courtesy of my parents in-law after they bought new stuff, and we decided to do some painting. We hit up Home Depot and bought some coarse sand paper, water-based primer, and low VOC (baby safe) paint in a pretty, plain white by Behr (called “Ultra Pure White” – or maybe “bone” or “eggshell” according to Patrick Bateman?)

 

I was the primary sander, as I thought I should avoid inhaling paint fumes, whether low VOC or not. The original handles were a antique brass color, and we used some leftover black spray paint from prior projects to give the handles a new matte coat. I considered silver spray paint for the handles, but we had tons of black on hand, and it I imagined it would make a bolder statement with the white.

 

We also painted a matching nightstand. This was a fun project and I liked the result so much I wanted to keep the dresser in our room. There’s no way an infant needs all 5 of those drawers anyway!

 

Can’t I Just Let Her Run Around Naked?

My mother Line’d me multiple pictures of cute baby girl clothing she had purchased recently, noting she was accumulating a collection.

 

I was digging the forest animal print (rabbits, squirrels, owls), and the onesie featuring multi-colored pineapples, and of course, an outfit with cats (not pictured). I told my mother these were adorable, but also said Fetus Watson would be born in the summer and would not need a ton of clothes. Further, I indicated I would eventually be open to letting her run around mostly naked as a baby. My rationale for this is there aren’t too many opportunities in a person’s life to be clothing-free without judgment, and I do not want my daughter introduced to a life of scratchy lace and restrictive ribbons at too early an age. Girl, let it all hang out while you can!